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After my contractor got the full basement dug and a septic tank buried next to the pole barn, everything was mothballed for the winter. I had the tractor and bucket as well as the gantry crane and a couple loads of beams and planks that I'd bought from Manny transported to my job site. Regrettably everything that I had in storage wouldn't fit, so I had to pay the lease on the old warehouse and pay for its insurance for another year.I knew that I'd get cabin fever so I bought a chainsaw, a 50-gallon tank of gas up on a dispensing rack, a 250-gallon tank of diesel up on a rack and plenty of oil for the chainsaw. Never buy a chainsaw without buying new, sharp files and a sharpening jig unless you've already got one. I also bought a single-axle 8x10 foot cart and a smaller 4x6 foot cart to tow behind the tractor. What's a farmer do when he's bored? Walk a fence line or cut firewood. Since I didn't have any barbed wire fence, it was cut firewood. Throughout the winter I tore down and. I didn’t know her very well. I had seen her around the school but had never met her. She walked right up to me and said, ‘You’re Jim Pearson, aren’t you?’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘My name is Sharon. I know we’ve just met, but I have to ask you a question. Do you mind?’ I gritted my teeth and groaned, ‘Okay.’ ‘I heard that you have the biggest penis in the state. Is it true?’ ‘Ha, ha, very funny. Who put you up to this?’ ‘Nobody put me up to anything. I just heard this rumor and I want to know. Is it really big?’ ‘I don’t even know you. Why should I talk to you about it? You’ll just start making fun of me like the rest of them. I’ve had enough of that!’ I started walking away. ‘Wait! I’m not going to make you feel bad. In fact, I’ve heard you haven’t had a girlfriend all through school because of the size of your gear. I was thinking maybe I could be the one.’ ‘This really is some kind of joke, right? I don’t think it’s funny. I think it’s cruel. Leave me alone.’ ‘This isn’t a joke. I always wondered.
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